Aristocracy

Yesterday, I had an unexpected phone call coming from a mother whose having problems with her spoiled 38-year-old son. She wanted me to visit her so we can talk. I did not know what I could tell her, because I have not spoken to her son in over 8 years. Not as if I wanted to anyway.

So we met, and had dinner. She told me how she worries about her son and does not know what to do with him. My reply was simple, "You can't do anything, because the damage has already been done!"

She mentioned me about her son recently got dumped by his American girlfriend. Why didn't I find this as a surprise? 8 years ago, he was engaged. I guess she wised up and decided not to move on with the marriage. I reminded his mother, there is no way her son would ever get married and if he does, she better be from one of the wealthiest families in the world, because his way of spending money is extremely careless. Finding her son a bride would cause serious harm to that future bride. He is reckless and uncaring.

Instead of talking about her son, I decided to share her a story about the final days of the French aristocracy. Why did the French people decided to abolish their aristocracy? The French King Louis XVI made a huge mistake in financing the Revolutionary War to help the American people defeat against the British and gain their Independence against British rule. The king could care less about American Independence, but he wanted to help avenge the loss his grandfather faced when he was defeated by the British years earlier. That emotional decision crippled the French economy. At the same time, his wife Marie Antoinette kept spending unnecessary amount of money on her lavishing lifestyle. If you are going to finance a war or the country's economy is going bad, it means you have to lower your living standard, which includes the aristocracy. The King and Queen couldn't understand why their own people are starving, so they went on living the same lifestyle they were accustomed to while the French people were asking for a revolution. The King and Queen couldn't understand where the money is coming from and never understood why people become poor. Not understanding the lower class people led them to their execution. Her son is very similar to Marie Antoinette, always looking for that lavishing lifestyle.

Now he's 38 and still making the same mistakes. Constantly losing relationships, due to his reckless spending. Not understanding the true value of money. Always looking for the quick and easy buck. The only way he can ever make money is by doing illegal business. His mother said, "I don't know what to do with my son?" Her husband is not in good health condition. The more she interferes with her son's financial situation, the worse her son gets.

I shared her another story about the "Magic Kingdom" about this one princess who tried to lecture me about life. The princess had this reckless brother, much similar to her son. A son who was a victim of the IT bubble, and we all know good things don't last forever. Took this IT bubble for granted and bought a car after losing his job. Didn't move out of his Y250,000 a month apartment until he eventually got evicted. Even though he had no prior experience in stocks trading, he blamed all his failures on recruiters because they were unable to find him a job as a stock trader. Recruiters were able to find him IT jobs, but it wasn't good enough for him. He expected recruiters to pull off a miracle, during a time when people were losing their jobs. He went unemployed for over 2 years, while he ran away to Japan. Expected people to lend him money even though he still owned that stupid car. After 6 months, I saw no progress so I decided to stop lending him money. Why lend freeloader money when he owns a flashy sports car? He, like Marie could not adjust their living standard. When you put your kid in a safe magical world, you lose touch of something called reality. The princess didn't take my story so kindly about her and the "Magic Kingdom". They lived in a penthouse, supported with nice cars. The world is safe around them and the princess seemed not to understand the harsh world of reality. Much like her brother.

Now going back to the 38-year-old bubble child. I reminded her again, there is nothing she can do to save her son from self-destruction. If she helps him, he'll never learn. The best thing to do is do nothing. I asked her, "What you plan to do?" There's nothing out here in Japan for him. Other than speaking fluent English, what kind of skill does he possess to work in Japan? None!! He could work at a construction company or custodial services. He's too old to play gigolo. He no longer has his good looks he once had. Either way she looks at it, his life is a dead end. No matter where he goes, he's bound to find trouble.

His mother offered to pay me back the money her son owed me, but I refused. I told her the way I look at this, "He can keep the money he owes me, because in return I do not want to speak to him or have any association with him."

His mother asked me 8 years ago, whether or not I was serious running an exporting business with her son. I laughed, "I know your son and I sensed his attitude. He made no effort in helping me out, and all he wanted to do was to collect money while I do all the dirty work. He just bought magazines and had me read it, made absolutely no effort doing his own research. So I just played along. I was never serious about your son. He is the same reckless guy who wasted his time at the university, while his parents sent him $4000 a month for his school allowance. That money was spent at hostess clubs, chasing dumb women."

His mother asked me what she did wrong in raising her son? My reply, "You never let your son grow up and you pressured him in pursuing the wrong dream. Pressuring him to enroll at Tokyo University would have done him no good. He would have a dead end job, with dead end pay. Graduating from a prestigious university no longer has any meaning, especially when they are so far behind western universities. Plus he spends much more than he make."

The last story I shared with her, was about the money I owed to a friend. When I moved in, I was in good position to pay for the rent my friend was asking for. Then, the prince of the Magic Kingdom had this dumb idea in getting me into trouble. This friend offered me to loan me some money, but I was already in debt with her because I was unable to pay off my rent. It took me 2 years to pay her off, I plan to pay her even if she no longer wanted to be my friend. So the mother asked, about my decision to pay. She wanted to know why. So I answered, "I never wanted to be like your son! I know your son owes so much money to so many people including his ex-girlfriends. Someday, he will mess with the wrong kind of people and when that day comes, it will be too late from him to understand the value of responsibility. He already destroyed you and several other people financially. One day, he will make that one wrong move, and then it's too late."